Solitary
by L.B. Hendricks
Summary: Piper is left down in solitary after the fight and is about to be released back into the prison.
1. Chapter 1

Piper watched closely as a roach scurried across the pipe moving and then stopping. She got on all fours following closely bringing her head up to stare as it began to move again. Her blue eyes piercing as she focused on each little movement the insect made. Slowly she stuck her hand out laying flat across the roach's path and watched as it skittered along the pipe and up her finger tips. Her skin danced with sensation as the insect's tiny legs flittered softly across her palms. She rolled her hands as the roach moved keeping it on a looped track across her hands. Smiling she put down the bug and let him continue on his path. She watched him until he disappeared through a tiny crack by the toilet.

She sighed feeling an overwhelming sadness wash over her. Piper paused and started to laugh at the reality of the situation, it sounded strange bouncing off the quiet walls. She was just playing with a roach, and had almost cried seeing it slip out of this cement hole leaving her completely alone again. How long had she been down here. She had lost track along time ago.

The nasty gash on her hand had now just become a faded scar. She absently ran her fingers over it willing to remember the stinging pain that cross had brought just to feel something. She began drumming her fingers in a familiar beat and humming along to a lion king song as her mind drifted, it had always been her favorite movie as a kid. She faintly smiled thinking it silly she would be singing disney songs while rotting in this cement box, she closed her eyes blocking out the blinding light of the SHU.

Alex leaned over her breakfast tray studying the eggs, pushing her glasses up, she glanced over feeling a hard nudge in her ribs. "Yo pasty, them eggs ain't gonna taste any better the longer you stare at em, I swear you don't start eating I'm bout to jack your shit." Tastee stared Alex down with a raised eyebrow. Alex chuckled "Seriously Taystee?" The other inmate just scoffed, "Yeaa, seriously I don't play when it comes to food, even in this shit hole." The whole table burst out laughing. Alex smiled and pushed her tray over, "I wasn't hungry anyway." Alex got up and walked past the table and the COs standing by the door, putting one foot in front of the other til she was back in her bunk. She flopped down no longer hitting cold metal. After weeks of horrible sleep and back pain a new mattress had finally showed up. Her mind wandered as it usually did to Piper. It had been 3 months and 21 days that they had thrown her down in SHU because of that ignorant hill billy. At least Piper had done everyone a public service knocking her disgusting meth teeth out.

Alex rolled over tracing the lines of the brick with her finger tips. They couldn't just leave her down there, people went insane in the SHU. Almost 4 months, Alex was terrified for her. She had been so angry at her, she had a rage in her heart that day masking the devastation she felt when Piper had chosen Larry.

She was angry now that she cared enough to still be mad at the blonde. As angry as she was, it was nothing compared to the fear she felt for Piper locked up completely alone down there. Having to wait and do nothing while they silently tortured her. The worry It gripped her sometimes at night to where she couldn't breathe. Panicked, her heart racing with anxiety each minute that passed. She would be fine if she just knew she was up here and okay.

Nichols tried to keep Alex's mind off of it, knowing how bad it was from her short stay in the hole. She barely lasted 2 weeks, after being let out it took her awhile to adjust to everything. The noises, a brief brush of a hand, skin against skin. A full meal of edible food, the talking and stimulation. That was only 14 days, she couldn't really comprehend what Piper has endured, it went beyond torture. Nicky never told that to Alex though. The whole block was worried, but there was nothing they could do. Get up go to work and keep moving, no one had a choice.

Alex shot her head up hearing a sudden slapping noise against the wall, "Hey Vause, breakfast is over, time to go get our Tim Taylor on." Nicky moved into the bunk smacking Alex on her ass. "Come on I promise to let you wear the tool belt today." Alex laughed a deep chuckle swinging her legs off the bed and adjusting her glasses before hopping off. "I don't think I can pull it off quite like you do Nichols" She smirked and nudged Nicky as she turned past her moving out of the cell. Alex had been moved to Electrical in Piper's absence and wasn't complaining. Anything to get out of that basement and away from the inbred christ cult that Pensatucky led. Plus the work had helped her to keep her mind from going crazy over Piper. She was still angry but knew she would never be able to completely write Piper off, she loved her. After a lot of effort and denial she realized It was something permanent. Whether Piper felt the same way or not, that was a burden Alex was going to have to live with.

117, Piper had lost track of the number of times she had counted the bricks along her cell wall. When she first started doing it she had lost count so many times, she had to start over frequently. 113, 115, finally she got better at it, her eyes flitting quickly and her brain keeping up with the quick counts. She had finally nailed it at one hundred and seventeen bricks. As ridiculous as it sounds It was an accomplishment that she had gotten excited about. The only way she kept some semblance of herself was through little things like that.

The sudden grating sound of the food slot opening made her jolt up. Even after so long the noise still startled her every time. The hand clutching the tray was motionless waiting for her to take the food. Piper scrambled over, slowly reaching for it while staring at the hand. It was soft and slightly smaller than the normal ones and had smooth white skin. This was a female guard, she wanted to reach out and touch her for a second to feel that warming comfort of human contact if just for a moment. Piper craved it. She quickly shook her head not allowing her mind to wander any further. She took her tray and compartmentalized those feelings somewhere deep in her subconscious. It was the only way to survive, never let your mind stay in one place too long. Quick visits that's all she could allow.

Piper sat indian style staring at the food. It was so much worse down here and the portions were a lot smaller, she was always starving. It was some kind of scramble. She closed her eyes, and brought her fingers up to her lips quickly swallowing a mouthful. The gagging had gone away after a couple of weeks. It was all business at this point to keep her body alive. She found it easy now to swallow and repeat until all of it was gone. She had forgotten awhile ago what it was like to eat for enjoyment. Another thing she compartmentalized. It was easier to get this stuff down knowing it was just fuel to keep her muscles moving and her heart beating. After she was done she placed the tray back on the stand. getting up she drank a glass of water, before moving down in the push up position.

When she felt herself starting to lose it Piper had developed a routine she stuck to with the passing of time. She had just picked a feeding period one day after waking up, she had no idea whether it was breakfast lunch or dinner out in the real world since the lights never went off. She had decided to make it breakfast. After she ate she drank a glass of water and started doing push ups. Increasing more and more as each day passed. Next were crunches, then wall sits, then she would pace back and forth counting cities, naming dog breeds, anything to keep her occupied until lunch came. After that it was another set of push ups crunches and wall sits. She had lost any sort of fat that she had, her body was incredibly thin from the lack of nourishment in the food and the daily exercises she was doing. Then she would count the bricks. Dinner came, and she would pace again humming songs in her head.

Finally she would lay down slowly sliding her hand back and forth on her stomach moving it down till she dipped into her pants. This being her reward for making it through another day. As she brought herself to orgasm only in the last moments before she fell over the edge would she allow Alex to take over her entire mind and body. For a minute she could feel Alex's hands, and her breath all over. At the last moment Piper always remembered how she would whisper with her husky voice , "I want you to come for me." And she would, finally getting an escape for the few short seconds her mind exploded and body shook. the first time she had done that she sobbed into her pillow for hours. Now she would allow her body to relax and for a brief moment, she saw her black hair, and glasses. Remembered the way she smelled and laughed. Then she would put Alex back into the box she kept next to all the other ones in her head. This was the only time she would allow herself to think of her. Piper began counting each of her heartbeats from 1 until she drifted off waiting to repeat the routine all over again with the next breakfast tray. She never made it past 70 anymore which was a blessing.


	2. Chapter 2

_Piper lay on her back in the sand with her eyes closed against the bright sun that was beating down on her hot skin. She was starting to drift listening to the waves lull her into a deep sleep. She was just on the edge of falling into oblivion when she felt cold water splash on her face. Jerking her arm up over her forehead she opened her eyes at the unwelcome intrusion. "Alex! What the hell." shaking her head to get the rest of the water off. Alex stood over her soaking wet dripping water everywhere from the ocean with a big grin on her face. "Pipes, your ass is getting burned out here and I'm not about to let you get too crispy for naked time later. Put on some sunscreen and come swim." _

_"Well your chances of naked time, as you so eloquently put it are definitely not looking good now, I was really comfortable." Piper whined rolling over. Alex leaned down laying her wet cool body across piper's and huskily whispered in her ear, "Come on babe, 15 minutes in the water and then we can do whatever you want." Piper relaxed into her sighing as Alex's wet body cooled her over heated skin. She grinned licking up the side of the brunette's salty neck and biting her ear lobe giggling. In one swift movement Alex had Piper thrown over her shoulder running towards the water. "ALEX! put me down." Piper squealed trying to get enough leverage pushing on Alex's flexing back to sit up, but she was too strong. "Alex my stomach!, I swear I am going to throw up on you." Alex smacked her ass and laughed, "Well its a good thing we're headed for water then." Before piper couldn't say anything else as Alex splashed through the waves and tossed her into the ocean._

_Piper tried to be mad but couldn't stop laughing as she sputtered out salt water clearing her hair from her eyes trying to gain her footing. Alex stood there laughing, the sun glistening off of her wet skin. Piper stopped what she was doing and just stared for a moment, she had never been more content than she was right now. Soon Alex dove in to the water bringing Piper with her. The waves had slowed down to a soft lull. Piper floated over softly smiling and wrapped her legs around Alex's midsection sitting on her lap in the water. She wiped the wet hair out of Alex's eyes and softly stroked her cheek. "I'm so happy here with you." Alex looked up and whispered, "Me too kid." She leaned up grabbing Piper's neck and bringing her lips down against her own sweeping her tongue across her lower lip before dipping inside. Piper whimpered as Alex stroked the smooth skin of her ribs making her nipples hard. She moved down to the side of her neck sighing when she felt Alex's hot tongue on the sensitive spots that the brunette had discovered a long time ago. She bit down softly on her clavicle following with a soft lick from her tongue. Piper moaned and jerked her hips forward. Alex moved her hand up sliding underneath Piper's swim suit top stroking her thumb across a hardened nipple making her moan even louder and jerk her hips again. Piper's breathing increased and she became restless as a hot burn settled in her center. Her head fell forward on the taller girl's shoulder as she desperately whispered, "Alex" while starting to grind her hips for some friction against her stomach. Alex didn't wait any longer and picked piper up out of the water with her strong arms carrying her to the towel on the beach. Alex layed her on top continuing down her neck with her lips till she got to the swim suit top, ripping it off flicking a nipple with her tongue lightly back and forth before sucking it into her mouth. Piper grabbed her head for some leverage, she no longer had any control over her shaking body, she had become a mess of heat and exploding dizziness. Alex moved her hand down tracing her quivering stomach right above where Piper needed her most. "Alex, please."_

"Alex…." A bright light was shining in Piper's eyes as she squeezed her legs together. Piper moved her head feeling cold metal. Sitting up suddenly her heart racing, cement walls and fluorescent lights were everywhere. She let out a jerky half sob with the realization that it was just a dream and the frustration it had left her with. she calmed her breathing willing her heart to slow, and shifted her legs causing a jolt to shoot straight to her center, the dream had left her overly sensitized as she clutched the sheets not moving for a moment. That memory was too special to use to quickly get off to in this disgusting place. As soon as she had collected herself Piper rolled off the cot onto the floor quickly doing 50 pushups to clear her head. Each time she went down feeling the burn in her muscles Alex's face got pushed further back until she was safely tucked away where Piper kept her. Soon enough she was completely alone again, the ghosts of her past a distant memory. The breakfast tray appeared and Piper started another day in the SHU.

Nicky waved her arms back and forth finally hitting Alex. "HEY! What the fuck Nichols." She rubbed her arm where the other girl had smacked her. "Well it's not my fault in your time here you've also gone fuckin deaf." "I've been calling your name while you wistfully stare out that damn window like some sad dog. Seriously Alex you need to get laid or at the very least masturbate." Alex gave Nicky a blank stare, "You know not all things get fixed from a good rub down Nicky."

"Well at this point I don't really think it could hurt." Nicky shrugged giving her a wink. Alex smiled at her and looked away. "You're an idiot."

"Well I'm the idiot that's about to teach you how to rewire a lamp before luscheck puts your ass in the cage all day, come on get up." Alex rolled off her bunk grabbing her glasses on the way out of the unit.

Piper was in the middle of her after lunch workout counting down the push ups and watching sweat bead down her face and hit the floor. 51, 52, 53, suddenly the door of the SHU was yanked open and Piper looked up, some sweat running into her eye making it burn. "Chapman, get your ass up." Mendez barked, skipping eye contact and looking over her shoulder at the wall. Piper slowly got up confused, because SHU guards always took her to shower not the ones from upstairs. "Come on, you gone dumb being down here, move faster I don't have all day." Mendez cleared his throat as he stepped back clearly wanting her to exit the cell. They began walking down the long hallway, listening to the wailing from some of the other inmates. Was this is it, was Piper getting out. She hadn't even considered that a possibility after so long, it made her shake and she thought she was going to be sick.

They went through several other gates before going upstairs and exiting into a garage. There leaned up against the white van was Morello with her wedding magazine in hand. Piper just stood there completely speechless before getting shoved by Mendez. "I swear to god Chapman if you don't keep moving, I'm throwing you back in." Piper stumbled forward and Morello reached out and grabbed her hand, "Careful there Chapman, It'll take a little while to get used to all the walking again." Piper flinched from the sudden contact. She had spent 3 months in the same routine, thinking the same thoughts every minute of everyday. Getting taken out of there so suddenly, her brain was over loading. Morello helped her into the van and started it up.

When they pulled out of the garage Piper's leg started to shake uncontrollably against the back of the seat. Morello reached around and gently placed her hand on her knee, "You'll be okay, you just gotta give it a little time." With a soft smile she turned back putting on her aviators and the van lurched forward. Piper watched the road her eyes flitting from tree to tree making her head a bit dizzy. She could feel Morello watching her but just closed her eyes for a moment to try and calm down, taking one thing in at a time. She still hadn't spoken a word. What was wrong with her, she didn't feel completely insane in the SHU, but being outside she was starting to feel that way. All of her compartmentalized thoughts began to break free. She had no control over anything that was physically happening to her body right now.

Morello sighed as she took in Piper's appearance, she was extremely thin but definitely had some muscle definition, the girl had obviously been doing some work outs in there. Her cheeks were sunken in, and she was a ghostly white. Her eyes though were the worst, there was something in them now that had not been there 4 months ago. She had dark circles underneath each one. Being away from people and the environment that long wasn't natural. The girls she brought back always came out different. The ones that were down there a long time, they always had the same look. The one that Chapman was wearing now and it made Morello sick.

The van came to a stop outside the prison doors and Piper still just sat there. It must have been rec time because there were some people running the track and others that were just milling around. It wasn't until Morello touched her again that she realized the door had been opened and she was waiting for her to get out. Piper's eyes darted nervously as she put her foot down in grass. The breeze blew, making her eyes water. She stepped fully out into the sun feeling it beat down hot on her skin, she clamped her eyes shut with the sudden blindness that overtook her. Morello held her arm out keeping her steady while she adjusted. Everyone had begun to stop what they were doing seeing who was coming out of the van.

Piper slowly squinted her eyes still unable to see much. Her breathing started to increase, as she heard people's voices, felt the wind, the sun was hot, Morello was squeezing her hand, the ground was uneven and she could hear the grass crunch. What was happening, she felt so dizzy and like someone had punched her in the gut. She took 3 shaky steps and then leaned over and threw up steadying herself against the van. "Oh sweetie, it's a lot I know." Morello rubbed her back as she bent over trying to breathe. She still couldn't say anything. When she thought she could walk again she wiped her mouth and gave a half smile to Morello. She still couldn't look her in the eyes and moved past her towards the doors. Everyone watched as she slowly made her way back into the prison.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex had stood over by the shed watching the entire exchange. She had stopped breathing when she'd seen

Piper get out of the van. She was so small, sitting in that seat with that dead stare on her face. Alex had never seen her look like that before, it was so unsettling, she almost didn't recognize the person sitting there as Piper. She always had fire in those blue eyes, when she was happy, sad, angry, there was nothing there now. Alex clenched her fists so tight her fingers were in white balls when Piper had taken a couple steps clamping her eyes shut and puking all over the ground. Alex was furious, she knew it was gonna be bad for piper. She had been silently terrified for her but had tried not to think about it. Alex had a lump in her throat and wanted to go pick her up but her legs wouldn't move. So she just stood there as a disoriented Piper stumbled her way back through Litchfield's doors.

Piper put her head down and made her way to where they hold all the new intakes waiting to be assigned bunks, she was too overwhelmed. "Damn, white girl. You get my last snickers tonight after dinner cause you be lookin extra lean." Taystee stopped in her tracks in the middle of the hall looking at her. When she finally got closer, she put her fingers around Piper's bicep, "I mean for real girl, thats some fuckin Auschwitz shit they doin to ya'll down there." Piper did a half smile, this time prepared, she was able to will her body not to flinch from the other girl's touch. Taystee's eyes softened, "I'm gonna come find you later, I'll make sure we put some weight back on your scrawny ass." Piper nodded as the bigger girl made her way past her to the library.

She had been off by one meal in SHU, it was just after breakfast now at the main prison. She still didn't have a work assignment. She had no idea if she would still get the same position, she couldn't wait to get back to a job though, she didn't care what it would be. She needed one thing to focus on right now, it was crucial to keeping whatever sanity she had left. Her head was pounding with all the sensory overload that had happened. She finally got to a bunk where they were keeping the new girls and climbed into the corner of a bottom one furthest from the door. She brought her legs up to her chest and put her head down in between them blocking out the light. She would sleep like this in SHU quite often, it was familiar and it was routine which helped calm her. She let out a long shaky breath finally getting slightly more control over her breathing.

Alex rounded the corner heading straight for the bunks, she couldn't just leave her alone. Not like this, Piper was clearly not coming out of this without some damage. After reaching her destination, Alex stood there watching piper crouched in the bunk obviously trying to stave off a panic attack. Her whole body was shaking and her hands were clenched in a death grip. She moved into the room sitting down opposite of Piper on the bunk. Alex touched the top of her head whispering, "Piper" as she moved her hands down touching her shoulders.

This couldn't be happening, Piper blinked into the darkness she had created in her legs, she couldn't look up. It was the first time she had heard her name in 4 months and it sounded foreign to her. Alex said it again and it was so wonderful in her ears with that deep gravely voice. Alex started to rub her shoulder with her strong fingers willing the muscle to relent from the violent tremors her body had been seized in for the last hour. All the strain the spasms took is probably what made her get sick Alex thought. She moved her hands down to her forearms lightly stroking her soft skin, she grabbed both of them, massaging until the muscles underneath lay still as well. She moved her hands up Piper's ankles to her calves and pressed into the flesh there. Piper let out the faintest whimper just from the pure relief she felt at her body finally relaxing. She hadn't even realized how her entire form had been seized up in one big shaking knot since she had stepped out of SHU. She was exhausted.

Alex continued her massage pressing into Alex's thighs, after finally feeling the last tremor end she moved back to her forearms lightly grazing her hands back and forth over the skin there. "Piper" still nothing, Alex sighed scooting closer she leaned down whispering next to her ear, "Piper, please look at me." She pulled her head back waiting.

Piper slowly lifted her head up looking at the ground next to Alex and then the bunk before nervously darting her eyes up to the green ones looking back at her. "Hi" Alex smiled continuing to stroke her arms because she knew Piper had not had human touch in such a long time. Alex finally dropped her hands feeling the blonde release the rest of the tension she had been holding. Piper was having a hard time keeping her eyes open as exhaustion began to claim her. Without the anxiety there to keep her on edge She felt like jello, underneath Alex's hands and immediately missed the contact. She looked into Alex's eyes searching them before moving closer. She scooted next her bringing her knees up again and turned her head laying it in the crook of Alex's neck closing her eyes. She was so warm, and if Piper had any tears to cry she would have now just in complete relief. Alex took Piper's hand and flipped it over slowly running her thumb back and forth across her palm. She used to do this whenever the smaller she used to get anxious and it always calmed her. Piper could feel Alex's hand around her own, the steady pulse against her cheek, and drifted off immediately listening to the soft thump of the heart beneath her.

Alex stayed in the bunk with Piper for another hour, listening to her breathe against her neck. She knew Nicky would be hunting her down soon, and should go before anyone found them, especially a guard. Alex wouldn't let Piper get into any more trouble again, she couldn't afford it. Slowly Alex moved her shoulder bringing her hand up to support Piper's head as she left the bunk. She tried to move her body and lay her head down as quickly and gently as possible so as not to wake her. She got Piper's legs stretched out as she floated somewhere between her dreams and the real world. Piper mumbled Alex's name as she curled into a ball against the covers. The brunette stood there for a minute watching her sleep thankful that she was getting rest. Alex's eyes moved over her body taking in the change that 4 months had brought. She had defined muscles but was incredibly thin. She could see her back bone through her shirt, and skimmed the ridges softly with her fingertips. Alex sighed sweeping aside her once healthy blonde hair, whispering in her ear "Sweet dreams kid." With that she turned around and headed towards work.

When Piper woke up she laid frozen for a moment gathering her surroundings before lifting her head. She slowly looked around seeing the 6 other bunks in the large room. She'd been released, that was all real. Then suddenly she remembered. The car ride, throwing up in the yard, and the panic attack right here in this bed, then Alex. She had brought her back, she had calmed her down enough to fall asleep. Piper sighed, she wished she could tell Alex how much she needed her right now. How much just her hands and the way she had touched her wiped away all the fear that had seized her entire body. Why was she feeling like this, all of this panic was clouding everything. She had turned off her emotions and her brain in that box, now that she was out she didn't know how to process the feelings that were bubbling to get out. She shook her head, she needed to get out here.

Piper got up and walked towards the entrance of the bunks peeking her head around the corner to look at the clock. 6:30, she slept past their lunch time, dinner would be up in 30. Piper left the bunk heading toward the cafeteria. She stayed walking on the far right wall avoiding all the eyes that followed her steps. Fischer suddenly appeared around the corner startling Piper into a standstill. "Um Chapman hello, you're…You look, um you're back." The young officer stammered out, her nerves getting the best of her. She had no idea what to say. Sorry you've been in solitary for 4 months "Listen Caputo would like to see you before dinner, new job assignment, bunk, you know the drill." Piper continued staring at the floor and nodded moving past Fischer towards the counselor's office. Fischer watched her go completely unnerved by whoever that was, because it wasn't the Chapman that had left here in december.

Piper knocked on the door, to Caputo's office, "Come in." Came a muffled reply through the closed door. He looked over his glasses as she walked in and stood behind the chair in front of his desk pulling at a loose string of thread along the back. "Ah, Chapman..Um welcome back, it's good to see you, why don't you have a seat." Piper moved around the chair and sat down. She ran her hands over the rivets in the material on the arm counting each one in her head to keep the panic down. Caputo leaned back looking at her, "Listen first things first, I'm going to put you in the library now, you're off electric. Even though the Doggett situation did end up being ruled as self defense, she was in critical condition for awhile, so you're still considered a security risk. I can't really have you around tools or things of that nature."

22, Piper nodded still counting the rivets. Running out of arm chair, she was about to have to start back at 1. Caputo squinted his eyes watching her a moment, "Okay well then that's settled, um moving on I'm gonna be putting you with Nichols, her bunk mate just got released, so after dinner you can head that way." Folding his hands over his stomach, Caputo continued on, "Listen I know no one has told you anything, but you know there's paperwork here, paperwork there. This whole situation has been a nightmare. They had to get an entire board to review what happened, since Doggett was a more high profile prisoner than most with all that abortion cult crap. That's why you were lost down there for so long. It was concluded self defense, and Doggett is in psych." Caputo cleared his throat, "Obviously that's a permanent situation. It was also concluded that it was quite an excessive beating for self defense, so they added 3 months onto your sentence, which honestly given the circumstances, is um well, not bad." Caputo took off his glasses leaning forward, "Look ya got 7 months left in here, just lay low and finish your time, capiche." Piper stopped moving her finger on rivet 9 and nodded her head. She got up and walked towards the door. Caputo cleared his throat again "Hey Chapman, Look for whatever it's worth, your time down there was not my decision." Piper gave him a nod and continued on to dinner. Caputo watched her go, shaking his head. Sometimes he hated his job.


End file.
